Self Improvement
Self Improvement Newsletter
Improve Your Life Today!
5/9/11 issue: Articles on The Past & Change
Email for: guzmansk@yahoo.com
* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue #661, Week of May 9-10, 2011
Publisher: David Riklan - http://www.SelfGrowth.com
In this issue:
-- Quotes of the Week
-- Recommended Resource of the Week
-- Article: Putting Your "Past" in Perspective: It Really IS an Illusion - By Jeff Maziarek
-- Article: What's So H.A.R.D. About Change? - By Julie Donley
-- Book Review: How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day - By Michael J. Gelb
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter
Current Subscribers - 288,584 subscribers
Removal instructions are listed at the end of the newsletter.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Quotes of the Week ***
------------------------------------------------------------
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. - Patricia Neal, 1926-2010
I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time. - Oprah Winfrey, 1954-present
The words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels. - Hazrat Inayat Khan, 1882-1927
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Recommended Resource of the Week ***
------------------------------------------------------------
* Free Video Reveals How You Can
Get Paid To Send Email! *
Make money from home...
*Fire your boss and work from home...
*Make $$ doing what you love!
*How to make money from hitting the "Send" button...
Click Here To Gain Access To This FREE Video Presentation...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Article: Putting Your "Past" in Perspective: It Really IS an Illusion - By Jeff
Maziarek ***
------------------------------------------------------------
Stop for a moment right now and think of something that happened in your past that you still carry some regrets about. Perhaps it's a botched relationship, a job that you lost, a business that failed or a business you failed to start, an accident you either caused or one that affected you, etc. You can also complete this exercise by thinking back to something pleasant that you experienced, such as falling in love, getting a promotion, or having a wonderful time on vacation. Whether what you experienced was positive or negative, as you get in touch with that event or set of circumstances, realize that what you are doing in effect, is time-traveling within your own mind as you search through your bank of memories.
The truth is the past is merely an illusion, as it is only what your mind is able to selectively remember. Moreover, the longer something remains in the mind, the more it changes and the less it reflects what may have actually occurred. The bottom line is that all you really have is your perception of what happened, and it is not necessarily clear, since the lens you are looking through may actually be clouded by the emotions associated with that memory. In addition, as referenced above, your memories tend to change over time, and therefore may not accurately reflect your original perception. Despite this, the average person spends a great deal of time in this illusionary world of the past, either feeling guilty, regretful or angry, or reminiscing about the so-called "good old days."
If you find yourself feeling remorseful about something you have said or done, or regretting something you feel you should have done, what you must do is learn to forgive yourself. By this I mean that you literally need to look at yourself in the mirror and say with conviction, "I forgive you for the mistake(s) you made, since I now know that you were simply doing the best that you were capable of doing at that time." It is likewise important for you to acknowledge that everything that ultimately did occur was a necessary part of your soul's growth. What you also need to do when you are feeling guilty isn't necessarily to apologize to whomever you hurt or disappointed, but instead to acknowledge your commitment to never repeating the behavior again. This is not to say that you shouldn't make an apology for something if you feel compelled, rather, that it is more important to avow that you have actually learned from your mistake.
If you feel angry about something that occurred to you in the past, stop and internally remind yourself that according to the principle of cause and effect, it was you who initiated the cause, either consciously or unconsciously, that led to the effect that incited your anger. By adhering to this view you effectively prevent yourself from becoming a powerless victim of circumstances. While it can be very challenging to adopt this perspective, once you do it becomes nearly impossible to get angry at anyone for more than just a brief moment. Instead, you learn to look for the deeper meaning or a lesson behind each of the troublesome situations that you encounter, and learn to silently honor those individuals who can 'pull your strings', for they are serving as valuable teachers. Moreover, make an effort to remember that these annoying individuals are providing you with valuable opportunities to practice remaining centered in the midst of turmoil.
If you tend to reminisce about good times or relationships you have experienced in the past, you must understand that these types of thoughts also keep you from fully experiencing the present moment. Ideally, what you need to do is to develop the ability to completely experience whatever it is you're experiencing at any given time, and then leave it behind. In the words of Fr. Anthony DeMello from his book "Awareness":
"Don't carry over experiences from the past. In fact, don't carry over good experiences from the past either. Learn what it means to experience something fully, then drop it and move on to the next moment, uninfluenced by the previous one. You'd be traveling with such little baggage that you could pass through the eye of a needle. You'd know what eternal life is, because eternal life is now, in the timeless now."
Although this may seem like novel advice, it is quite practical, because many of us have a tendency to, as Henry David Thoreau once said, "loiter in winter when it is already spring." If you are a person that is inclined to focus on good times in the past, please understand that all you are doing by 'time-traveling' in this way is wasting thought and feeling energy that could be used in far more constructive ways. If you can begin to put into practice even in a small way what DeMello is recommending, you would most certainly notice an improvement in the quality of your life. You would also come to realize that these are indeed "the good old days."
The past only has an impact on the present when you continue to waste your powerful thought and feeling energies on something that no longer exists at all, other than in your own mind. Whatever it was that happened is finished now, and no matter how uncomfortable it was for you, you need to come to the understanding that at some level you chose it, and that it helped to build your character and make you a stronger individual. Whenever you do find yourself wondering why something turned out the way it did, I suggest calling to mind the old adage that often times 'God does work in mysterious ways'. The truth is, you really don't know the "big picture." So, even though you might be inclined to feel sad about a certain event in your past, make the decision to accept the realization that there is a higher order to things, and that something good will eventually come of it.
Before closing this article, I want to share with you a thought-provoking analogy I have heard Dr. Wayne Dyer use on more than one occasion during live presentations. The analogy is this: when you believe that the past has a significant, if not irreversible effect on your life today, it is just like saying that when a boat moves across the water, it is being propelled by the wake behind it. Naturally this is ridiculous, because everyone knows that the wake is the result of the boat's forward movement through the water and nothing else. The reality is, your past doesn't drive your boat in the present moment, you do!
(The preceding article is an adapted excerpt from Spirituality Simplified, Copyright 2002, by Jeff Maziarek.)
** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here.
About the Author:
Jeff Maziarek is an inspirational speaker and author. His first book, Spirituality Simplified (http://www.spiritsimple.com) is an easy-to-understand and entertaining work that provides an ideal starting point for anyone with a sincere desire to pursue a path of personal and/or spiritual growth. His second book, Codi's Journey, is a memoir about his Border Collie who passed away in 2005. It is available in Kindle format on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, the Apple iBookstore, and Smashwords.com. To subscribe to Jeff's free daily inspirational emails called "PONDER on THIS," please visit http://www.pondercentral.com.
* Free Video Reveals How You Can
Get Paid To Send Email! *
Make money from home...
*Fire your boss and work from home...
*Make $$ doing what you love!
*How to make money from hitting the "Send" button...
Click Here To Gain Access To This FREE Video Presentation...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Article: What's So H.A.R.D. About Change? - By Julie Donley ***
------------------------------------------------------------
Why does change have to be so darn hard? We struggle to lose weight, get in shape, eliminate debt and stay (happily) married. Health issues such as heart disease, depression, addiction and obesity - preventable illnesses - are rampant. Why is it so hard to change?
The answer to this question describing eight strategies for success can be found in my new book, Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?, now available in bookstores.
Change IS hard. And it's hard because, as humans, our brains are wired a certain way. When we understand how the mind works, we can use this knowledge to make change a little easier and stop battling with ourselves. We can use our minds to work WITH us instead of AGAINST us. We can learn to become the master of our thoughts and emotions instead of being at their mercy.
H.A.R.D.© is an acronym that stands for how we are enslaved by our Habits and Attachments and struggle with Resistance and Discouragement. In order to change, we must face these functions of the mind. It's not that our brains are purposely trying to hurt us and hold us back; it's just how the mind operates. They are games the mind plays with us. Accept it. Learn about them and then use the success strategies to help you to play these mind games and WIN!
HABITS
We are wired to keep things the same, to create routines and structure to get things done. Habits allow us to function well and to manage multiple things throughout the course of the day. Every time you try something new, you have to concentrate - all of your attention is required to learn the new activity, be it a new route to work or learning to type. After much practice, you can perform the task without thinking about it. It has become habit.
In the process, thousands of neurological connections have formed in your brain in order to make this activity 'automatic'. You now know how to type without paying attention, for example, and perform the task subconsciously. In other words, you don't need to focus on where to put your fingers and which key represents what letter. You just type.
Those neurological connections will need to be replaced in order to change to something new. It requires consistent attention and persistent action, something most people do not do well. When we are learning something for the first time, those neurological connections don't exist; but when you want to change how you have been doing something, that's when it becomes a challenge because you are 'hard-wired' to think and act a certain way.
ATTACHMENTS
We cling to people, places and things. Most people have a difficult time letting go and going with the flow of life. We want and expect things (and people) to last forever. We hold on tight to our youth as our bodies age, our ideas even when we are wrong, and our relationships even when we are very unhappy. To detach would require we accept things as they are, not as we wish they were. We hurt ourselves greatly when we hold onto our ideas about how things 'should' be as opposed to how they are.
Emotions are the key to identifying attachments. The harder you fight, the more stubborn you are, the more attached you are.
RESISTANCE
Resistance shows up in many ways including self-doubt, judgment, procrastination and excuses. Resistance is FEAR. Identifying your fear is the first step. Notice the behavior pattern such as making excuses or procrastinating, then name the fear so you can tame it. This is just another way the mind plays with you and keeps you stuck. As you begin to change or even think of changing something, you are threatening the status quo. Adrenaline is released just as if you were in real danger causing the 'fight, flight or freeze' reaction. And you respond with resistance.
But you are bigger than your fear. You just have to learn some tools to stand your ground.
DISCOURAGEMENT
We get discouraged when things don't progress as quickly as we'd like them too. We may have unrealistic expectations for just how long something will take. We may think it will take a few weeks to find a new job when it can take many months. Our relationship with time causes us to become frustrated. We are impatient. And if we are not very good at acknowledging what success we do experience along the way, we will quit even though we may have come quite far.
Change is H.A.R.D. © because we succumb to what we know and give up. It just seems easier than to fight for what we want. Motivation is crucial for success and for continued progress toward our goals.
To be successful at making a change in your life, befriend your mind. Understand a little bit about how it works so that you can learn how to use it to assist you in creating the kind of life you love and enjoying the progress. Your mind is a tool for you to master and use to your advantage.
** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here.
About the Author:
Julie Donley knows firsthand what it means to conquer adversity. Having overcome addiction, a grave illness, divorce, single parenthood, obesity, indebtedness and being laid-off three times, Julie brings a wealth of personal experience to her work. Julie has worked in psychiatric nursing since 1993 and founded her company, Nurturing Your Success, in 2001 to assist people in achieving their goals and working through change. She is the author of several books including Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.? and The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance. Learn more at http://www.NurturingYourSuccess.com. Contact Julie at Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com to have her speak at your next meeting or conference.
* Free Video Reveals How You Can
Get Paid To Send Email! *
Make money from home...
*Fire your boss and work from home...
*Make $$ doing what you love!
*How to make money from hitting the "Send" button...
Click Here To Gain Access To This FREE Video Presentation...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Book Review: How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day - By Michael J. Gelb ***
------------------------------------------------------------
Here's a personal growth guidebook that's won the admiration and recommendation of Ted Hughes, Poet Laureate of England. He calls this "a brilliant, practical guide to awakening and training our vast, unused resources of intelligence and ability." Author Michael Gelb, founder of High Performance Learning and consultant for companies including AT&T and National Public Radio, says that we all can unlock the "da Vincian" genius inside us. Gelb says there are seven critical principles that need to be followed for success, whether you're learning a new language, studying to be a gourmet chef, or just hoping to be more effective on the job:
Curiosita: An insatiably curious approach to life.
Dimonstratzione: A commitment to test knowledge through experience.
Sensazione: The continual refinement of the senses, especially sight, as the means to clarify experience.
Sfumato: A willingness to embrace ambiguity, paradox, and uncertainty.
Arte/Scienza: The development of the balance between science and art, logic and imagination ("whole-brain thinking").
Corporalita: The cultivation of ambidexterity, fitness, and poise.
Connessione: A recognition and appreciation for the connectedness of all things and phenomena; "systems thinking."
Gelb discusses each of these principles in relation to what da Vinci accomplished, thereby giving this book a built-in history lesson. The illustrations from the master's work and time add a nice warmth to the work. As the president of NPR said after working with Gelb, this is a program recommended for "anyone who wants to experience a personal and professional Renaissance."
*****
The list price of this book is $17.00. To purchase it from Amazon.com at a price of $11.56, a 32% discount, go here.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Brief News of the World ***
------------------------------------------------------------
Positive:
* Millionaire Janitor Buys School New Track *
The lunch hour is over and Evergreen High School custodian Tyrone Curry gets out his broom for a quick sweep up.
After cleaning, he's off to his second passion: coaching the track and field team.
But in reality, he doesn't have to work. He's a millionaire.
Go here for the complete news story.
* New York Charity Rescues Food *
New York City diners delight in more than 23,000 restaurant options, from celebrity chef Eric Ripert's white-napkined jewel Le Bernardin to an endless list of sparring hot-doggers, including Gray's Papaya, Papaya King and Coney Island-born Nathan's Famous.
Despite all those restaurants with all that food, 1.5 million New Yorkers struggle to feed themselves and their families, and not because they can't get a coveted spot on the reservations list.
Recognizing excess on one end of the dining spectrum and lack on the other, nonprofit City Harvest has been "rescuing" food from restaurants for more than a quarter century, feeding it to the city's poorest residents.
Go here for the complete news story.
* Calif. Woman Shows off Newly Transplanted Hand *
For the first time in five years, Emily Fennell has two hands.
The 26-year-old single mother, who lost her right hand in a car accident, showed off her newly donated hand Tuesday while flanked by a team of transplant doctors.
Go here for the complete news story.
** For more positive news, please visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/news.html
Other:
* Flexible Jobs = Happy Worker Bees? *
When John Parry, CEO at Solix, Inc., arrives at work at around 7 a.m., the office parking lot already has some 80 cars, a testament to his employees' desire to beat rush hour by shifting their work hours earlier than the typical 9-to-5.
But none of those workers had to apply for a flexible work arrangement or win supervisory approval for a schedule change.
Go here for the complete news story.
* Pulitzer Winner Achieves the American Dream *
It was the biggest story of the year in Southern California. Officials in the working class suburb of Bell were paying themselves exorbitant salaries, in one case more than $1 million. And it was all uncovered by two Los Angeles Times journalists: a veteran reporter, Jeff Gottlieb, and Ruben Vives, who is just three years on the job.
A jubilant newsroom toasted the pair as they were announced as Pulitzer Prize winners for their work, reports CBS News correspondent Bill Whitaker.
Go here for the complete news story.
* Miami Beach Brings Rock'n'Roll to Polo *
Think of polo and the words elitist, snobby and even royal might spring to mind, but when the old sport takes place on Miami's South Beach it is a very different event.
The South Beach setting for the Miami Beach Polo World Cup marks an inevitable break with convention and the result is an event that, at first, had traditionalists shaking their head.
Go here for the complete news story.
=============================================
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Improve Your Life Today!
5/9/11 issue: Articles on The Past & Change
Email for: guzmansk@yahoo.com
* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue #661, Week of May 9-10, 2011
Publisher: David Riklan - http://www.SelfGrowth.com
In this issue:
-- Quotes of the Week
-- Recommended Resource of the Week
-- Article: Putting Your "Past" in Perspective: It Really IS an Illusion - By Jeff Maziarek
-- Article: What's So H.A.R.D. About Change? - By Julie Donley
-- Book Review: How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day - By Michael J. Gelb
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter
Current Subscribers - 288,584 subscribers
Removal instructions are listed at the end of the newsletter.
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Quotes of the Week ***
------------------------------------------------------------
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. - Patricia Neal, 1926-2010
I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time. - Oprah Winfrey, 1954-present
The words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels. - Hazrat Inayat Khan, 1882-1927
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Recommended Resource of the Week ***
------------------------------------------------------------
* Free Video Reveals How You Can
Get Paid To Send Email! *
Make money from home...
*Fire your boss and work from home...
*Make $$ doing what you love!
*How to make money from hitting the "Send" button...
Click Here To Gain Access To This FREE Video Presentation...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Article: Putting Your "Past" in Perspective: It Really IS an Illusion - By Jeff
Maziarek ***
------------------------------------------------------------
Stop for a moment right now and think of something that happened in your past that you still carry some regrets about. Perhaps it's a botched relationship, a job that you lost, a business that failed or a business you failed to start, an accident you either caused or one that affected you, etc. You can also complete this exercise by thinking back to something pleasant that you experienced, such as falling in love, getting a promotion, or having a wonderful time on vacation. Whether what you experienced was positive or negative, as you get in touch with that event or set of circumstances, realize that what you are doing in effect, is time-traveling within your own mind as you search through your bank of memories.
The truth is the past is merely an illusion, as it is only what your mind is able to selectively remember. Moreover, the longer something remains in the mind, the more it changes and the less it reflects what may have actually occurred. The bottom line is that all you really have is your perception of what happened, and it is not necessarily clear, since the lens you are looking through may actually be clouded by the emotions associated with that memory. In addition, as referenced above, your memories tend to change over time, and therefore may not accurately reflect your original perception. Despite this, the average person spends a great deal of time in this illusionary world of the past, either feeling guilty, regretful or angry, or reminiscing about the so-called "good old days."
If you find yourself feeling remorseful about something you have said or done, or regretting something you feel you should have done, what you must do is learn to forgive yourself. By this I mean that you literally need to look at yourself in the mirror and say with conviction, "I forgive you for the mistake(s) you made, since I now know that you were simply doing the best that you were capable of doing at that time." It is likewise important for you to acknowledge that everything that ultimately did occur was a necessary part of your soul's growth. What you also need to do when you are feeling guilty isn't necessarily to apologize to whomever you hurt or disappointed, but instead to acknowledge your commitment to never repeating the behavior again. This is not to say that you shouldn't make an apology for something if you feel compelled, rather, that it is more important to avow that you have actually learned from your mistake.
If you feel angry about something that occurred to you in the past, stop and internally remind yourself that according to the principle of cause and effect, it was you who initiated the cause, either consciously or unconsciously, that led to the effect that incited your anger. By adhering to this view you effectively prevent yourself from becoming a powerless victim of circumstances. While it can be very challenging to adopt this perspective, once you do it becomes nearly impossible to get angry at anyone for more than just a brief moment. Instead, you learn to look for the deeper meaning or a lesson behind each of the troublesome situations that you encounter, and learn to silently honor those individuals who can 'pull your strings', for they are serving as valuable teachers. Moreover, make an effort to remember that these annoying individuals are providing you with valuable opportunities to practice remaining centered in the midst of turmoil.
If you tend to reminisce about good times or relationships you have experienced in the past, you must understand that these types of thoughts also keep you from fully experiencing the present moment. Ideally, what you need to do is to develop the ability to completely experience whatever it is you're experiencing at any given time, and then leave it behind. In the words of Fr. Anthony DeMello from his book "Awareness":
"Don't carry over experiences from the past. In fact, don't carry over good experiences from the past either. Learn what it means to experience something fully, then drop it and move on to the next moment, uninfluenced by the previous one. You'd be traveling with such little baggage that you could pass through the eye of a needle. You'd know what eternal life is, because eternal life is now, in the timeless now."
Although this may seem like novel advice, it is quite practical, because many of us have a tendency to, as Henry David Thoreau once said, "loiter in winter when it is already spring." If you are a person that is inclined to focus on good times in the past, please understand that all you are doing by 'time-traveling' in this way is wasting thought and feeling energy that could be used in far more constructive ways. If you can begin to put into practice even in a small way what DeMello is recommending, you would most certainly notice an improvement in the quality of your life. You would also come to realize that these are indeed "the good old days."
The past only has an impact on the present when you continue to waste your powerful thought and feeling energies on something that no longer exists at all, other than in your own mind. Whatever it was that happened is finished now, and no matter how uncomfortable it was for you, you need to come to the understanding that at some level you chose it, and that it helped to build your character and make you a stronger individual. Whenever you do find yourself wondering why something turned out the way it did, I suggest calling to mind the old adage that often times 'God does work in mysterious ways'. The truth is, you really don't know the "big picture." So, even though you might be inclined to feel sad about a certain event in your past, make the decision to accept the realization that there is a higher order to things, and that something good will eventually come of it.
Before closing this article, I want to share with you a thought-provoking analogy I have heard Dr. Wayne Dyer use on more than one occasion during live presentations. The analogy is this: when you believe that the past has a significant, if not irreversible effect on your life today, it is just like saying that when a boat moves across the water, it is being propelled by the wake behind it. Naturally this is ridiculous, because everyone knows that the wake is the result of the boat's forward movement through the water and nothing else. The reality is, your past doesn't drive your boat in the present moment, you do!
(The preceding article is an adapted excerpt from Spirituality Simplified, Copyright 2002, by Jeff Maziarek.)
** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here.
About the Author:
Jeff Maziarek is an inspirational speaker and author. His first book, Spirituality Simplified (http://www.spiritsimple.com) is an easy-to-understand and entertaining work that provides an ideal starting point for anyone with a sincere desire to pursue a path of personal and/or spiritual growth. His second book, Codi's Journey, is a memoir about his Border Collie who passed away in 2005. It is available in Kindle format on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, the Apple iBookstore, and Smashwords.com. To subscribe to Jeff's free daily inspirational emails called "PONDER on THIS," please visit http://www.pondercentral.com.
* Free Video Reveals How You Can
Get Paid To Send Email! *
Make money from home...
*Fire your boss and work from home...
*Make $$ doing what you love!
*How to make money from hitting the "Send" button...
Click Here To Gain Access To This FREE Video Presentation...
------------------------------------------------------------
*** Article: What's So H.A.R.D. About Change? - By Julie Donley ***
------------------------------------------------------------
Why does change have to be so darn hard? We struggle to lose weight, get in shape, eliminate debt and stay (happily) married. Health issues such as heart disease, depression, addiction and obesity - preventable illnesses - are rampant. Why is it so hard to change?
The answer to this question describing eight strategies for success can be found in my new book, Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?, now available in bookstores.
Change IS hard. And it's hard because, as humans, our brains are wired a certain way. When we understand how the mind works, we can use this knowledge to make change a little easier and stop battling with ourselves. We can use our minds to work WITH us instead of AGAINST us. We can learn to become the master of our thoughts and emotions instead of being at their mercy.
H.A.R.D.© is an acronym that stands for how we are enslaved by our Habits and Attachments and struggle with Resistance and Discouragement. In order to change, we must face these functions of the mind. It's not that our brains are purposely trying to hurt us and hold us back; it's just how the mind operates. They are games the mind plays with us. Accept it. Learn about them and then use the success strategies to help you to play these mind games and WIN!
HABITS
We are wired to keep things the same, to create routines and structure to get things done. Habits allow us to function well and to manage multiple things throughout the course of the day. Every time you try something new, you have to concentrate - all of your attention is required to learn the new activity, be it a new route to work or learning to type. After much practice, you can perform the task without thinking about it. It has become habit.
In the process, thousands of neurological connections have formed in your brain in order to make this activity 'automatic'. You now know how to type without paying attention, for example, and perform the task subconsciously. In other words, you don't need to focus on where to put your fingers and which key represents what letter. You just type.
Those neurological connections will need to be replaced in order to change to something new. It requires consistent attention and persistent action, something most people do not do well. When we are learning something for the first time, those neurological connections don't exist; but when you want to change how you have been doing something, that's when it becomes a challenge because you are 'hard-wired' to think and act a certain way.
ATTACHMENTS
We cling to people, places and things. Most people have a difficult time letting go and going with the flow of life. We want and expect things (and people) to last forever. We hold on tight to our youth as our bodies age, our ideas even when we are wrong, and our relationships even when we are very unhappy. To detach would require we accept things as they are, not as we wish they were. We hurt ourselves greatly when we hold onto our ideas about how things 'should' be as opposed to how they are.
Emotions are the key to identifying attachments. The harder you fight, the more stubborn you are, the more attached you are.
RESISTANCE
Resistance shows up in many ways including self-doubt, judgment, procrastination and excuses. Resistance is FEAR. Identifying your fear is the first step. Notice the behavior pattern such as making excuses or procrastinating, then name the fear so you can tame it. This is just another way the mind plays with you and keeps you stuck. As you begin to change or even think of changing something, you are threatening the status quo. Adrenaline is released just as if you were in real danger causing the 'fight, flight or freeze' reaction. And you respond with resistance.
But you are bigger than your fear. You just have to learn some tools to stand your ground.
DISCOURAGEMENT
We get discouraged when things don't progress as quickly as we'd like them too. We may have unrealistic expectations for just how long something will take. We may think it will take a few weeks to find a new job when it can take many months. Our relationship with time causes us to become frustrated. We are impatient. And if we are not very good at acknowledging what success we do experience along the way, we will quit even though we may have come quite far.
Change is H.A.R.D. © because we succumb to what we know and give up. It just seems easier than to fight for what we want. Motivation is crucial for success and for continued progress toward our goals.
To be successful at making a change in your life, befriend your mind. Understand a little bit about how it works so that you can learn how to use it to assist you in creating the kind of life you love and enjoying the progress. Your mind is a tool for you to master and use to your advantage.
** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here.
About the Author:
Julie Donley knows firsthand what it means to conquer adversity. Having overcome addiction, a grave illness, divorce, single parenthood, obesity, indebtedness and being laid-off three times, Julie brings a wealth of personal experience to her work. Julie has worked in psychiatric nursing since 1993 and founded her company, Nurturing Your Success, in 2001 to assist people in achieving their goals and working through change. She is the author of several books including Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.? and The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance. Learn more at http://www.NurturingYourSuccess.com. Contact Julie at Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com to have her speak at your next meeting or conference.
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*** Book Review: How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day - By Michael J. Gelb ***
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Here's a personal growth guidebook that's won the admiration and recommendation of Ted Hughes, Poet Laureate of England. He calls this "a brilliant, practical guide to awakening and training our vast, unused resources of intelligence and ability." Author Michael Gelb, founder of High Performance Learning and consultant for companies including AT&T and National Public Radio, says that we all can unlock the "da Vincian" genius inside us. Gelb says there are seven critical principles that need to be followed for success, whether you're learning a new language, studying to be a gourmet chef, or just hoping to be more effective on the job:
Curiosita: An insatiably curious approach to life.
Dimonstratzione: A commitment to test knowledge through experience.
Sensazione: The continual refinement of the senses, especially sight, as the means to clarify experience.
Sfumato: A willingness to embrace ambiguity, paradox, and uncertainty.
Arte/Scienza: The development of the balance between science and art, logic and imagination ("whole-brain thinking").
Corporalita: The cultivation of ambidexterity, fitness, and poise.
Connessione: A recognition and appreciation for the connectedness of all things and phenomena; "systems thinking."
Gelb discusses each of these principles in relation to what da Vinci accomplished, thereby giving this book a built-in history lesson. The illustrations from the master's work and time add a nice warmth to the work. As the president of NPR said after working with Gelb, this is a program recommended for "anyone who wants to experience a personal and professional Renaissance."
*****
The list price of this book is $17.00. To purchase it from Amazon.com at a price of $11.56, a 32% discount, go here.
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*** Brief News of the World ***
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Positive:
* Millionaire Janitor Buys School New Track *
The lunch hour is over and Evergreen High School custodian Tyrone Curry gets out his broom for a quick sweep up.
After cleaning, he's off to his second passion: coaching the track and field team.
But in reality, he doesn't have to work. He's a millionaire.
Go here for the complete news story.
* New York Charity Rescues Food *
New York City diners delight in more than 23,000 restaurant options, from celebrity chef Eric Ripert's white-napkined jewel Le Bernardin to an endless list of sparring hot-doggers, including Gray's Papaya, Papaya King and Coney Island-born Nathan's Famous.
Despite all those restaurants with all that food, 1.5 million New Yorkers struggle to feed themselves and their families, and not because they can't get a coveted spot on the reservations list.
Recognizing excess on one end of the dining spectrum and lack on the other, nonprofit City Harvest has been "rescuing" food from restaurants for more than a quarter century, feeding it to the city's poorest residents.
Go here for the complete news story.
* Calif. Woman Shows off Newly Transplanted Hand *
For the first time in five years, Emily Fennell has two hands.
The 26-year-old single mother, who lost her right hand in a car accident, showed off her newly donated hand Tuesday while flanked by a team of transplant doctors.
Go here for the complete news story.
** For more positive news, please visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/news.html
Other:
* Flexible Jobs = Happy Worker Bees? *
When John Parry, CEO at Solix, Inc., arrives at work at around 7 a.m., the office parking lot already has some 80 cars, a testament to his employees' desire to beat rush hour by shifting their work hours earlier than the typical 9-to-5.
But none of those workers had to apply for a flexible work arrangement or win supervisory approval for a schedule change.
Go here for the complete news story.
* Pulitzer Winner Achieves the American Dream *
It was the biggest story of the year in Southern California. Officials in the working class suburb of Bell were paying themselves exorbitant salaries, in one case more than $1 million. And it was all uncovered by two Los Angeles Times journalists: a veteran reporter, Jeff Gottlieb, and Ruben Vives, who is just three years on the job.
A jubilant newsroom toasted the pair as they were announced as Pulitzer Prize winners for their work, reports CBS News correspondent Bill Whitaker.
Go here for the complete news story.
* Miami Beach Brings Rock'n'Roll to Polo *
Think of polo and the words elitist, snobby and even royal might spring to mind, but when the old sport takes place on Miami's South Beach it is a very different event.
The South Beach setting for the Miami Beach Polo World Cup marks an inevitable break with convention and the result is an event that, at first, had traditionalists shaking their head.
Go here for the complete news story.
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